Hello blog reader.
Let me take a moment to introduce myself. I’m Jo. Well, actually I’m Johanna, but I haven’t been called that in a long time. Not since I wore my hair in piggy tails. Jo just stuck.
I guess I should tell you what brought me here?
Well, in the most accurate way possible, I totally crashed and burned last year. I had what I called the zombie year from hell. I was sad, depressed, anxious, grieving, injured, fearful, and stressed. And those are just the adjectives I can think of right now. I was a giant ball of depressed and anxious (yay both ends of the scale) unhappiness. The crazy thing was that I didn’t even realise what was going on at the beginning of the year. More things happened throughout the year that just added to the shittiness, and it was in November, after gaining close to 20 kg, that an ongoing injury brought me to my doctor and close to surgery. I “kind of” started to turn things around, and by “kind of” I mean that I pretty much ignored it and focused all my time, effort and energy on work. That was a really super dooper great plan because I then gave myself a fairly serious health issue, which was the bucket of icy water wake up call that I needed.
This is what brings me here. Or some of the key highlights at least.
A Rich Inner Life is my blog. That’s helpful, right? Well, more than that. It’s a channel of my inner natter into a more constructive means, which is hopefully of relevance to others. I’ve read a number of moving blogs in my time. Some have really opened my eyes. Some have made me pause and think about another perspective. Some have made me laugh. Some have made me cry. And not that pretty gentle crying either. I’m talking big ugly sobbing crying because that’s how my crying tends to get. Either way, I’ve been affected – in a good way – by what others have taken the time to write.
So A Rich Inner Life is my experiment. It’s my health experiment. I’ve always thought that I was self-aware, but last year was like a big giant kick in the teeth. I realized that I knew absolutely nothing, and what I thought I’d been doing in the past to heal myself from stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, family breakdowns and abuse hadn’t even worked. One thing that I realized was that I was keeping all my thoughts and feelings inside because I was embarrassed about them. I’d been told in the past that they weren’t appreciated, that I wasn’t appreciated, and I’d taken that guilt and shame with me into adulthood.
So here I am. I am on a serious health and wellness journey. I’ve got physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healing to do. I want a rich inner life. I’ve never tried something like this before. However, nothing else has ever completely worked, so why not? What’s the worst that could go wrong? I actually become 100% honest and accepting of myself? Not such a bad thing to be. So by putting this out there, I can keep myself accountable to that.
I hope it’s entertaining. xx
“Acceptable by any theological and geometrical standards, however abstruse, and suggested a rich inner life” John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces (1980).